Goodness

Happy Resurrection Day everyone!  May you carry the peace of Jesus with you in your hearts, and tread happily and lightly on this Earth.  Agree with me today to be a walking revolution of love and change.  Decide to put away the things that trip you up, and to fully embrace the power of His resurrection.  Jesus loves you all, and has given you the world.  Remember to use your freedom wisely so that you can remain free.  Indulge in the goodness of His mercy and grace, and make right the things that are unjust.  Have a lovely celebration with family and friends.  Hug your children, kiss your spouse, and give great thanks for the eternal beauty you undeservedly now walk in.

(If you're in the mood for something less foofy, than check this out)

There's Always Tomorrow

I would very much like to jack slap today in the face!  It started with a very interrupted night's sleep, awakening to two very whiny babies, and a desperation to get out of the house.  Of course I left the stroller outside last night after our walk....because I NEVER do that.   Of course it's totally down pouring and has been all day.  So this whole no stroller and two kids under 2 will not exactly be an easy outing since we can't just go to the park or somewhere the kids can run around totally buck wild.  I need them to behave... civilly, pshh, good luck huh?!

So with not many choices in front of me, I did what any daring stupid mom would do, and I went TO THE MALL.  What?!  Now that I've said it out loud it sounds stupid.  We didn't go to shop though, we went because they have a cool indoor play center right in the middle of the mall that all 3 of my children happen to have fun in.  Easy I thought. We'll rent one of those little red smart cars that can take the place of our detained stroller, and River will like it even better since he can pretend to drive and feel all cool.

We walk into the mall, Ahmi in arms, River sandwiched between Israel and I, holding hands.  Easy enough....off to a great start.  We made it to the play zone, played for a good hour and a half.  I nursed Ahmi, fed him his delicious homemade baby food dinner, gathered the two other guys, got shoes on, and had enough cooperation to WALK out of the play zone tantrum free with baby in arm, and toddler holding our hands like a champ. 

'Hop in the car,' I instruct a very cooperative River.  Wait a minute.  I parked the car right here.  Where in the heck?!  Hmmm, maybe I parked in at the other end.  Walked to other side.....NO CAR.  Awesome!  Thank you random person who stole our smart cart!  I know that it was really necessary for you to take a car that had two expensive children's coats in it.  I hope you enjoy the 6-12 month Yoda Robeeze you made off with.  And let the Lego people remind your child of what a loser you are every time he/she plays with them, knowing they once briefly belonged to a very elated 9-year-old.  Thanks a lot.

At this point, I was much more disappointed in the fact that I had to walk 3/4 of a mile with a wiggly, tired baby, and a toddler who just forgot how to behave, while trying to boycott the hand-holding deal that he instantaneously realized he hated.  And another thanks to the very helpful mall cop who after walking some distance out of my way to find him, informed me that he was off-duty and that I needed to walk around to the other side of the mall to speak with someone who was on the clock.  I am so glad that he at least listened to my complaint BEFORE he decided to blow me off (*dripping with sarcasm*) because I could've just gotten mugged for all he knew.

So after our long journey back to report the car being taken (I was hoping it was a mistake from a mother who was having an exhausting and brain-sucking day like I was), we checked the lost and found, were given a book of coupons, and sent to walk the 3/4 mile back to the parking lot, where we walked IN THE RAIN to our van.  Are you jealous?  Yeah, it was pretty much awesome!

I'm really not mad or wish anything bad on the lovely person who took our car.  Just an annoying piece of an already sort of rotten day.  The good side?  That there's always a new and fresh day awaiting us tomorrow.  And, that even in the midst of the chaos and fatigue, I have some pretty cool kids who I had a great time with, tired or not.

River Don't

....put soap in your eyes, it will burn!!

08/52

 

Week 8 - March 23, 2013

Ahmi - 78 degrees means freedom for the little piggies

Israel - grassssssssstache

River - bravery means going down the slide head first (and sometimes backwards too)

West Side

Yesterday, we spent the day house hunting and hangin' out in West Nashville. It is beautiful there! Big city fun with a small town, down-home feel. Couldn't have asked for a better day.
We ate at a really cool taco place, where we gobbled up the sun as well as the delicious food from the gigantic deck. We walked and explored some fun little shops, searched for cool parks or walk paths, and topped it all off with yummy desserts from Provence cafe.
We spent time pondering the house we had scoped out (which was quite lovely), along with enjoying our wacky boys sense of humor. As River flew the silver tea kettle through the air like a 'hepatoper,' Israel enjoyed his amazing homemade chocolate covered marshmallow. River had the same treat, but decided to drop his on the ground while stepping it and growling.  As funny as it was, all I could think of was that yummy marshmallow.  We took turns making fun-house stretchy faces into the side of the teapot, as Ahmi snuggled with Daddy and played it cool.  We finished up our west side adventure and headed home. 
It's exciting to think of the many good days that lie ahead (and with these beautiful people I am honored to call family) in this tremendous new adventure in life.

Of Beauty

I need to go someplace beautiful.
Where my mind can transcend the negativity that tries to sneak up on me and overtake me.
Like a militant darkness, it chases me; haunts me.
My escape is found in the archaic sky, fronds of ferns, the kiss of the wind against my bare arms and neck, the peace of solitude.
The sun playing peek-a-boo amidst the clouds; momentary immersion that lends itself to again, being swallowed by the shadows. 
Strange juxtaposition, this thing of dark and light; scarred and beautiful.
Escape is necessary....
to fuel the energies of all that is meaningful and wholesome; 
to bring the wretched things up out of the water, offering new life, and again finding peace in all that is lovely.
So Jesus, rid my life of dangerous strangers that lurk in the shadows.
Help me cultivate the most sacred retreat of all....
to travel inward, where divine imaginations and an unblemished Spirit take residence.
Unearth in me the heart that only creates space for beautiful things, so when the night drags on, I can find the beauty of light in the warmth of my own sacred space.
I need to know someplace beautiful.

07/52

Week 7 - March 15, 2013
Israel - a thoughtful young man with flowers for mom
River - he wanted to swing 'whoa tall'
Ahmi- along for the ride

We

Constellations

[Eons and burning hearts.
You are as you always were.
Like a phantom line
connecting each move we
make,
our lives become
constellations]


A collage I put together of my father and step-mother.  They met 30+ years ago.  Fell out of touch.  Feelings remained.  Recently married.

Throwaway

Like an apple with its pleasurable sweetness,

I too, am discarded when my bruises become apparent.

(2000)

06/52

 

Week 6 - March 8, 2013
River - Ka*pow!
Ahmi - Said mama three times today.  Three!  Yeah, he loves me.
Israel - That 60 degree weather kind of fun

He

He sits among the rubble, with the stoner and the sinner, prying splinters from their worn and  ragged souls.

He's a salve, he's a saint, he understands his redemption....the only thing that differentiates the two.

Prostitution feeds addiction, fans the flame of their rejection,

while he is constant;
Watering internal fires.

Pills a pitfall, wounding words, sinking deeper in depression.

Life diminished to a chaser and a smoke and a prayer that they believe     goes  unheard.

He's the whisper and reminder to the heart that is downtrodden,

to the men who are more like boys and the girls who cry for safety.

Believing they are lost, they take the role and play it well

until he comes and breathes security to       them     all.

He's the one who can believe for them

amidst their lives of ruin...

 until they are well enough to believe it for themselves.

Til then he is sunshine in a dark and crowded corner;

a barrier between the knives that are all around.
He reminds them of the playgrounds,
offers peace and sacred friendship,
praying for redemption,
planting seeds of who they REALLY are.

                     

Who You Are

 

(except, not 'maybe'....'definately!') 

There are times in life that it seems easy to fall into the category 'someone else's punching bag.'  It seems that I have been that person lately.  I blame myself for those instances in the past.  I gave too many people permission.  Now however, I have had the umph to back the naysayers away because I have found out who I really am.  And that gal is definitely not cool with getting dumped on by other peoples baggage.
  It's very hard to battle someones words when you believe them deep inside, where they really count.  But I am no longer the bruised apple that is rotting.  There's a voice inside of me (a spirit actually) that told me how valuable and cherished I really am.  And I chose to believe it.  There's this deep knowing that I am lovable, and that my love is worth sharing with the world.
  So I challenge all of you to listen to that still, small voice, that cheers you on ever-so-enthusiastically, instead of biding your time in life with all of the negativity that comes your way.  Choose today to believe in yourself, because the God of the universe is the same God who designed you with his bare hands, and gave His breath to fill your own; resuscitating us....giving us life back....rescuing us.  And why?  Because you're very much worth rescuing! 

05/52

 

 

 

Week 5 - March 3, 2013
Ahmi - Yeah, he's precious
Israel - River captured this sweet picture
River - Busted! A sour cream bath