Blogger Idol 2012

  So I went against my better judgement and submitted an entry to the Blogger Idol 2012 (and 3 hours before the deadline).  My audition had to be 250-500 words about myself.  Here it is.  Let me know what you think......

  I have lived an annoyingly orbital life.  Every path I have taken has really somehow been the same path.  I swear some weird little midget was following me with his axe, messing with signs and laughing as he screwed with me.   Although some progress has been made in this futile attempt to reclaim my life, I still at times feel like my steps are being recycled.  Like I’m on an escalator and can’t get off.

  I got pregnant when I was 20.  Had him when I was 21, yet somehow still felt like a teen mom.  Emotionally, I was a teen.  Maybe even a toddler.  I threw fits, had all of the symptoms of the hulk when I was mad (more like the hulk with tourettes), a downright defeated attitude, and my insecurities were dangerously overtaking me.  When I had my little boy, well, that was when I started to feel a little more human and a lot less robotic. 

  It’s hard to remain wrapped up in yourself when you know this little creature is depending on you.  And although it seemed pathetic, I felt like I finally had someone who believed in me.  Hope started to rise.  I began to hear whispers from some unknown being saying that I was loved.  That I mattered.  That I was here on purpose.   This situation reeked with schizophrenic undertones, but I was soon relieved to find out that it was the very voice of my Creator.  These words encouraged me to live less recklessly, changed my heart, and directed my feet to a path that I am still pursuing today.

  Yes I am a Christian.  There I said it.  I am not ashamed of being the light of the world.  I am however a little apprehensive to share the title that most of the world has treated like a brothel.  I am not a Christian who hates and points fingers.  And I am definitely not the Christian who takes bull horns to football games and pukes out hate and personally condemns people to hell.  Nor am I the kind of Christian that takes the pure intimacy of God Himself and adds a side of STD’s.  I am the kind of Christian that has had their cesspool of a life transformed into life giving, moving waters.  I can refresh simply because I have been dirty, and refreshed myself.  You find no hypocrisy here.  Just a simple woman, an ugly past, and a future with less loose cannons.