Remnants

I am the type of person that doesn't function well in clutter.  I'm not a cat.  I can't be comfortable laying amongst a pile of papers like it's a feather pillow.  I am a firm believer in everything having a place and getting rid of it, if it does not.

As of late, it only seems that my house is clean from the nightly pick up, and naturally in the morning as well because nobody is yet awake to destroy it.  Every hour in between has proven to be a labyrinth.  I feel like that little metal ball having to dodge walls and mounds of stuff that will trip me up and stand obnoxiously in my way.  I just wanna get from Point A to Point B in a direct and efficient way.

Sharing with you all of my anal retentiveness, I will now let you know that I have tried these past few days to really take joy in the clutter.   Not the literal piles. More of what they represent.  Instead of peering into the living room with anxiety, I began to look at each item and revel in how thankful I am that I have children to pick up after.   It's actually kind of cute to see where things drop.  It gives a glimpse of where my children have been and what they've been enjoying and building throughout the day. 

The trail of blocks leads to my children's hearts.  The books that lie in disarray prove my children's intelligence and intrigue.  The mass gathering of bouncy balls in the corner shows their mischief as they ambush Justin and I and laugh until they can't hardly breathe.  The pile of muddled blankets and the overturned chairs and random boxes explain their imagination and love of tents and tee pees.

So from now on, when cleaning isn't feasible in the moment, I will try as hard as I can to cherish the remnants of my beautiful boys, knowing that someday they will no longer live under our roof, creating, exploring, loving, and playing.  So for now I will gladly take it!

A Tribute to Teal

I just wanted to share a little taste of my new obsession with teal.  It's a fabulous color, and as we redo our living room I hope I do the color justice.

51 Things That Totally Gross Me Out!

(not necessarily in order of grossness)

1. probiscus monkey's...seriously have you seen one of those things!?  puke
2. people who share ice cream cones with their dogs
3. seeing a container full of chew spit
4. milk breath
5. touching raw meat
6. when you see someone smelling their hands as they exit the restroom
7. the term 'mucus plug'   *gag*
8. extreme back hair exposed by a tank top
9. the smell of egg salad as it leaches out from under a tupperware lid
10. placenta smoothies...not the taste, (I wouldn't know), the concept
11. old women who pluck their stray chin hairs in public
12. blond haired babies being called 'toe head' babies
13. long toenails
14. seeing wet hair in a drain
15. SUPER sloppy eaters
16. cats in heat
17. dogs in heat
18. biting into a big juicy breaded mushroom *blah*
19. sitting on a seemingly harmless toilet only to find that it has drips of someone else's urine
20. seeing a dog eat its own vomit
21. the centipede flavored prank jellybean that Israel gave me...I have nothing to compare it to....but it was NASTY!
22. warm seat cushions
23. hearing a full nose being blown at the table
24. neck beards
25. cracking open a double-yolked egg....eh, throw that thing away
26. men smacking their chic's butt
27. flip flops and socks
28. pugs (sorry pug lovers)
29. the sound of really dry skin rubbing on scratchy fabric
30. people who pick their kid's nose with no tissue
31. tapioca pudding
32. really muscly, veiny people
33. crack attack
34. seeing toddlers sucking on the handle of shopping carts....there have been traces of feces found on those things people!
35. finding a coarse, gross, stranger hair in your food
36. saying 'toot' or 'fluff'' in reference to passing gas
37. bottom diggers
38. while we're down there....speedos
39. dirty, unwashed facial hair
40. silverfish and giant centipedes
41. biting into an entire cherry tomato
42. witnessing nose picking
43. saliva that turns into a foam that then collects in the corners of someones mouth
44. the feeling of chalky hands
45. stepping in doggie poo
46. sharing anything dairy with someone else
47. the stench of gauged ears if one doesn't have in a natural plug...F O U L
48. I once saw a cat peel a dead, smashed frog off of the road and then (dry heave)...it ATE IT!  It looked and sounded disgusting (and I can't imagine it tasted good either)   *shivers*
49. snotty sneezes
50. rubber band saliva (the kind that stretches from the top to lower lip and never seems to break)
51. sharing gum or toothbrushes

'Bedcess...?'

Throughout the school day, Israel and River take fun breaks where they jump on the bed together.  I know....bad mama for encouraging them to jump on furniture, but hey, it's a ton of fun (and our bed..hah)!  Israel recently dubbed these brief breaks....'bedcess.'  The combination of recess and jumping on the bed.  It's hilarious to watch, and the boys just giggle and have so much fun. 

Enjoy!

Woohoo!

Love Love Love

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  I am looking forward to a very hot dinner date with my hubs later on.  Yay!  He's treating me to an evening at our favorite Greek restaurant.  Baklava here I come! 

Of course we had our fun swapping valentines with the boys at home first.  . 

Israel was ecstatic over all the chocolate...he is a bit of a chocoholic (and sugar hoarder) after all.  And River loved the simplicity of his heart-shaped balloon by enthusiastically yelling 'W O A H' when we gave it to him this morning.

We had fun making cards at home, so I thought I'd share.

This is the outside of the card Israel made for Dad...I love how he drew his cute little cupid wings. :)

 This is the inside of Daddy-O's card.  Israel drew the halo, and River scribbled 'I love you Dada!'

 This is my lovely card to the mister.  I turned him into the sweet little cherub Cupid.  haha!

and the inside of my card in all of it's corniness.  (cupid certainly got it right this time)

A card Israel made for his grandma (I helped a little ;)

and the inside of grandma's card. 

Enjoy your day with the people you love the most!

xoxoxo

Snow Globe

Tiny, seemingly-symmetrical specs of snow fell straight to the bare ground around us.
We felt like miniatures inside the convex glass of a snow globe.
Our world turned upside-down, gently shaken, then made right again....this time with added beauty.

Yesterday

Yesterday.

I chased two little boys.

Ate large amounts of ice cream.

Felt little baby bird kick.

Read a million books to River.

Comforted a tender-hearted young man.

Had to wipe a half a tub of water off of the bathroom floor,

(compliments of River).

Laughed...and laughed some more.

Prayed for strength in my tired body.

Decided not to neglect laundry anymore.

Collaged.

Prayed.

Snuggled with the Mister.

Traded a restful night over the excitement of the future.

Yesterday.

My Not So Arrested Development

   Today I woke up not thinking that the glass was half full or half empty.  I awoke with the urge to smash the glass altogether into someones face.  I don't know what initiated this wretched mood that I somehow stumbled upon sometime in the night, but it was fierce and it was depressing. 

   I turned the ipod on and tried some music therapy.  I played and replayed a song that I have considered to be my personal anthem lately in hopes that it would smack the stupid out of me so I could move on with my day.  And that is exactly what it did.

   'I'm raisin' my expectations,' taking life by the man parts and moving on toward the future!  For years I have let myself think that it's career/dreams/pursuits OR family.  One or the other.  It was definitely an either/or situation for me, and of course knowing my family would always win out made me feel bad for feeling depressed and a little ripped off.  After all, what kind of person would I be if my family weren't enough?!

   I love being both a mother and a wife, but these desires underground in my heart were a hellacious volcano about to erupt and ruin everyones day.  I need to exist as I am meant to.  To be a mom, wife and proactive dreamer.  There's still an important element I'd like to call 'balance,' but in all honesty, I would probably be a better mother and wife if I were creating and breathing life into what has been birthed in my heart.

   Soooo...the journey starts now.  I will not hold myself back and cheat myself (or others) anymore.  I am 'movin' on towards the light, I'm gonna find my way real soon.  Movin' on, doin' right, gonna make my dreams come true!'

   

Sheep in Wolves Clothing

There’s a way to disarmament that doesn’t hold a gun or a conditioned bribe. 
To the violent, you give your life, disarm him by leaving nothing for him to take.
Give the thief what he wants so that he doesn’t have to steal.
If you are slapped in the face, give them the other cheek as well, their hand will not raise as quickly the second time.

Do not concede to the ideas of oppression, but eliminate the theology of it at its core. Hate and hierarchy cannot stand when you give yourself in love!
Love re-exposes the heart, the humanity and creates room for redemption.
It is not a demanding knife to the throat. Because as soon as the knife is lifted, the heart is still stone.

There is a violence in passivity.  A violent revolution that begins when we become the need we see in peoples lives. 
As a giver...you can disarm the takers.  And the space you create for redemption will be beautifully birthed when there's revelation of getting what isn't deserved.
Serve instead of waiting to be served.

We cannot offer violence thinking it will birth redemption, salvation.
For only a wolf births wolves, and doves to doves.
A great teacher once reminded us that a seed sown can only produce it’s own kind.
Our seeds of violence that “protect,” really only birth a nation up in arms; a nation of vengeance. The nation that we have become. An empire.

The strongest sword there is, is also the weightiest.
Love carries a burden hard to swing, but once thrust, never misses.
We need to redefine justice; unlearn this world’s methods of “obtaining peace.”
Trade in our aggression for gentleness. A gentleness that recognizes the terrorist we are all capable of becoming.   

Any system which tries to arouse justice by encouraging violence in any form is counterfeit; it is manipulative and oppressive.
Executing a murder convict…doesn’t that just teach us that murder can be appropriate under the right conditions? This mindset only creates opportunities for more justified violence!
Who has put a higher price tag on one person than the other?

Rape is violent!  But what happens when the woman becomes pregnant? If she aborts, she has used the same measure of violence that was forced onto her, and on a being that was as innocent as she was.

Who is the real enemy anyway? I think that all injustice begins in our hearts and ends in our fist. All of the reasons of war, begin as entitlements in our heart. The war starts within us before it ever spills into neighborhoods, countries, and finally, the world.
We need to understand that our enemy is not another human, but the force that tries to destroy our brotherhood!!

Violence will always destroy our humanity. No matter which end of the gun you are on, there is a lifetime of confinement that you can never escape...all because you believed a lie that said they deserved it.

...And what do you deserve?...

Anytime we lower our humanity to violence, to conflict, we are letting that force rule in this world!

The true way to disarm a nation, is in violent passivity.
To be a sheep in wolves clothing.