Inspiration, Magic, and Whimsy

Today is a day to do nothing.  Not the kind of nothing that makes you feel all bleh at the end of the day.  The productive kind of nothing.  You know the kind.  Where you build makeshift tents in the living room.  Where you eat soup and play games.  Where you and your family act goofy and also share your heart.  Where you drink tea or hot cocoa and lay in bed all day with a good book.  That's the kind of nothingness I'm talking about. 

 

 

 

 

(our family enjoys reading this aloud...even us adults laugh)

 

(and this one if you happen to have a moment to yourself).

 

Have a rest-filled, peaceful day!

 

 

Blogger Idol 2012

  So I went against my better judgement and submitted an entry to the Blogger Idol 2012 (and 3 hours before the deadline).  My audition had to be 250-500 words about myself.  Here it is.  Let me know what you think......

  I have lived an annoyingly orbital life.  Every path I have taken has really somehow been the same path.  I swear some weird little midget was following me with his axe, messing with signs and laughing as he screwed with me.   Although some progress has been made in this futile attempt to reclaim my life, I still at times feel like my steps are being recycled.  Like I’m on an escalator and can’t get off.

  I got pregnant when I was 20.  Had him when I was 21, yet somehow still felt like a teen mom.  Emotionally, I was a teen.  Maybe even a toddler.  I threw fits, had all of the symptoms of the hulk when I was mad (more like the hulk with tourettes), a downright defeated attitude, and my insecurities were dangerously overtaking me.  When I had my little boy, well, that was when I started to feel a little more human and a lot less robotic. 

  It’s hard to remain wrapped up in yourself when you know this little creature is depending on you.  And although it seemed pathetic, I felt like I finally had someone who believed in me.  Hope started to rise.  I began to hear whispers from some unknown being saying that I was loved.  That I mattered.  That I was here on purpose.   This situation reeked with schizophrenic undertones, but I was soon relieved to find out that it was the very voice of my Creator.  These words encouraged me to live less recklessly, changed my heart, and directed my feet to a path that I am still pursuing today.

  Yes I am a Christian.  There I said it.  I am not ashamed of being the light of the world.  I am however a little apprehensive to share the title that most of the world has treated like a brothel.  I am not a Christian who hates and points fingers.  And I am definitely not the Christian who takes bull horns to football games and pukes out hate and personally condemns people to hell.  Nor am I the kind of Christian that takes the pure intimacy of God Himself and adds a side of STD’s.  I am the kind of Christian that has had their cesspool of a life transformed into life giving, moving waters.  I can refresh simply because I have been dirty, and refreshed myself.  You find no hypocrisy here.  Just a simple woman, an ugly past, and a future with less loose cannons.

Out of Control Tongue: The Art of Doing Dishes

Our wacky dish washing scenario....

I walk downstairs from putting Sir Ahmcelot to bed, and to my surprise I found Israel putting the clean dishes away.  He offered to help me get the dirty dishes done as well, so I quickly took him up on his offer.  Israel had a chair pulled up to the cabinets, and as I washed a dish, he dried it, and put it in it's place.  River was between us on a chair, also 'helping.'  He would indiscriminately turn the water off as I was rinsing the suds from the plates, amusing himself;  laughing at the prospect of being a boob.  Israel and I's laughing of course encouraged his behavior, and before we knew if we weren't getting much done at all, but kneeling over laughing.

After that got old, River decided that he would disrupt the assembly line by quickly snatching up every clean, wet dish from the drying rack before his brother could dry it.   Why?  Oh yes, to lick them!  This of course collected way more laughs than merely shutting water off, and so with a fierce determination, he was grabbing dishes left and right, sliding them across his tongue and cracking up.  Needless to say, I had to rewash some dishes.  After an entire load having to be rewashed and him finally heeding my instructions to not lick the dishes, he began licking the counter.  Of course he would!  There was soapy, dirty dishwater cesspooling on the counters and I told River, 'No no River, those are dirty.  Yuck.'  At which point Israel added, 'Yeah....do you even know how many butts have been on that thing!?'   Um....that's a whole other blog post I guess!

10 Things

Ten kid spotting's this week....

• Toy car in the sound hole of my neglected guitar
• I opened the fridge and found a baseball inside
• Reached in the cabinet for a pan to cook dinner, found little toy cars and a book
• The smashed grapes on the couch
• Puddle of River pee on the floor
• River discovering the hose to the kitchen sink (yeah, that was more fun for him than me)
• Used Kleenex in the trash...nope, back in the Kleenex box where they belong
• The words 'This is butt day' scrawled on our school white board
• The six chunky and rancid bottles that have been stashed one at a time under our bed...thanks River, that was delicious
• Smashed cheese that my butt found when I finally got to sit down

Hulk Mama: Why I Want to be a Mother with No Red Buttons

  The other day was neurotic!  Well, neurotic might be a slight understatement.  There were lots of tantrums, upset, whining, food throwing, and general noncooperation.  Usually days like this don't phase me.  I deal with the messes as they come, try to keep everyone in relatively good shape, and before I know it, there's a new day that is full of calm.  Oh, but this day was a different breed of bad days.  On top of the madness, I was experiencing what I like to call the fear.  It's when you are so deliriously tired, that you feel as if your brain went on strike, your fine motor skills are more like a joke, and your nerves are raw and exposed.  Yeah, that definitely sums it up.  It was a great day for the kids to act up.  And when I say 'kids,' I really only mean kid, but I don't want to publicly single him out...ahem (River).  He is a passionate kid...which when referring to toddlers, we all know means stubborn and a button pusher.  I love the kid more than life, but he is strong-willed.  He doesn't get away with anything, and he is learning boundaries more and more every day, but this makes him no less of a bruiser. 

  So I was teaching my 3rd grader (yes, I'm crazy and I home school) and the non-stop action was making me feel like an overstimulated baby.  I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter and instead of giving myself a break, giving Israel a short break from his frustration of not being able to concentrate on his school because of the chaos, I exploded.  I had been imploding all day and my feelings came spewing out all over the place.  I was a wreck.  There was yelling, crying (by me, don't worry I didn't hurt anyone), and general discord.  In the moment I thought of myself like Jesus, you know...turning tables at the injustice.  But really, I was more like the hulk with tourette's.  Yes it was awesome.  So after my 2 minutes of glory, and the puke had exited my heart, I felt terrible!  And I should have.  Shame on me for having a moment where my kids are in more control of themselves then their grown mother. 
 
  So I did what any self respecting mother would do, and has done since the beginning of time....I held my children and asked them to forgive that unpleasant sight.   I swore that I wouldn't behave so recklessly in the future, and we vowed to take play breaks to burn off some excess energy when the stress meter seems dangerously overworked.  I was able to teach my children a valuable lesson, albeit the wrong way, yet a lesson nonetheless.

   I want to get to a point where I have no big red emotional buttons that can be pushed.  I want to be so in control of my inner emotions that I can shut the upset down and channel self control, peace, and learn to chill a bit.  I was reminded that whatever I show my children will become their standard in life.  And Lord knows I don't want them to behave the way I did when they are 30.  In fact, we are teaching our 22 month old it's unacceptable to act that way.  What I say in a moment of frustration will become their inner dialogue throughout their lives.  So what will I give them?  Poison that is hand-crafted, or a world of security and reassurance, boosting their hearts to a tree that gives life?  I opt for the latter.  So my epiphany was followed by an apology, the forgiveness of my amazingly graceful children, and then some awesome laughter as my oldest son reenacted how stupid I looked when I was mad. 


(Disclaimer:  No children were hurt in the making of this blog nor did I emotionally scar anyone or say anything abusive or mean.   My blowup was me being a slobbering baby about the lack of cooperation and a grand pity party thrown for myself.  And don't act all haughty...if you're a parent, you've done it too!)

Something Worthwhile

  I have been browsing through a ton of blogs, trying to find some that are unique and intelligent.  So far....I have found one.  Is there really nothing on any one's mind of importance?  There is so much going on in the world around us that is scary and also mystifying.  Yet all most people can think to share is a weekly post dedicated to what they wore that day.  BORING!  Even if you have fabulous taste, let me just say that there are more important messages that need to be seen by the rest of the world.  I don't care if you wear leggings or a dress Miss Doe in California, so please for the love of God, shut up!  Wear whatever kind of nail polish you want, just don't give me detailed photos on how you painted them sooo different than anyone else.   It's freaking nail polish! 
  I'm sorry if I have offended anyone that does these sort of blogs, I am exaggerating my feelings a tad.  Plus, you still have your share of followers and that's fine.  I just really wish that we would access a little bit of the depth that we were all born with, and start a new revolution in this world.  One that has nothing to do with shopping or our exterior.  But one that reveals our worth, our confidence, our lives.  For these are the things that truly matter.   So, what do you say....let's get deep together?

Prove That You are Not A Robot

  My rant for today is about those idiotic things that pop up when you perform certain actions on the computer, like joining a new blog or ordering something online.  It's an obnoxious box that displays a random configuration of letters and numbers that are all warped and wonky, stretched out, smashed together, and generally disfigured.  You got the idea right?!  It is hardly legible, and has the statement 'Prove that you are not a robot,' typed above said box.   The purpose is to decipher a human from a toaster, and prohibit unauthorized happenings.  If you can read it and copy it....you are human.  If you cannot....you are computer.   So fundamentally, it's a good thing.  I don't want robots purchasing high end electrical contraptions at my expense.  But what irks me so bad is that you can't hardly read those friggen' things EVEN IF YOU ARE A HUMAN!  How am I supposed to interpret what is written when it is intentionally skewed beyond a normal persons recognition?!  So, after three or four tries, I am left to think that I might be part robot after all.



Lazy it Up!

 

A great big ole thanks to the men and women that organized and challenged their employers and fought for freedom for the masses.  Enjoy your day of rest and your lifetime of 8-hour-days and decent pay!

Morning Phone Call

 

While his eyes were still droopy and his hair still a nest for wild things, he picked up the phone and 'called' his grandfather to share his thoughts.  His conversation went as follows:

'Hewoh.  Bapa?  Doe doe, bubba, mama, dada.  La la, doe doe, oooooohh.  Bah.'

 

Translation:  'Hello, Grandpa?  Dog, Israel, Mama, Dada.  Kitty, dog, ooooohh.  Bye'

 

It broke me to see him so animated and passionate about what was on his little mind this morning.  It is those little moments that make me greatful to be able to experience the wonders of motherhood.