Sparklers have been around forever right? When I was little, we cherished the moments that we were allowed to hold something that was actually on fire. We would chase each other with them, freak out every time they had nearly burned to the end, afraid of getting sparks on our sticky cotton candy fingers, and sword fight with the blackened remnants. Remembering how fun they were, we usually pick a few boxes up for our kids every year. It's not a difficult task. You go to the grocery store and there are holiday kiosks littered with sparklers, pop it's, and smoke bombs.
Last night I made a late night run to the store to get a few things for the 4th, sparklers included. When I stalked the usual spots of the store and came up empty handed, I hunted down a sales clerk to help me.
Me: 'Excuse me, do you know where I can find the sparklers?'
Sales Clerk 1: 'What?'
Me: 'Sparklers?'
Sales Clerk: (confused look) 'No' (and then he walked away).
As rude as that was, I made my way to another part of the store to find them myself. Still missing in action, I spot Associate #2.
Me: 'Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find sparklers?'
Sales Clerk 2: 'Find what?'
Me: 'Sparklers.'
Sales Clerk 2: (confused look) 'Try the incense aisle.' (And he totally walked away)
What?! Well I am certainly not wasting my time walking to the incense aisle.
There was some more aimless wandering and hunting down associate #3.
Me: 'Where can I find sparklers?'
Sales Clerk 3: 'Like the thing for your dog?'
Me: What?! So with a confused look, I walked away.
Me: 'Do you carry sparklers?' I curmudgeonly asked the final employee that I had patience for.
Sales Clerk #4: 'Sparkler? What is a sparkler?'
Me: 'You know, the sticks that look like incense (thanks clerk 2) that you light...and they sparkle...?
Absolutely not! Nobody knew what I was talking about. How is that even possible? Maybe since fireworks are legal in Tennessee, they don't tamper with that weak stuff. Regardless, I left 30 minutes later,empty handed, incredibly irritated, and slightly amused.
Absolutely not! Nobody knew what I was talking about. How is that even possible? Maybe since fireworks are legal in Tennessee, they don't tamper with that weak stuff. Regardless, I left 30 minutes later,empty handed, incredibly irritated, and slightly amused.
Happy sparkler-free (and super rainy) Fourth!
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